After a big day on the cans, a proud Brisbane man has drawn a line in the sand, and refused to lie about who he is anymore.

Dominic Hawthorne (31), a Moorooka-based corporate AGM planner has decided he’s sick of pretending to be someone else, and has made of point of telling the truth to a bouncer in Fortitude Valley.

With a long work lunch throughout the day, the recently-engaged ex-semi professional water polo player

While lining up for his favourite licensed after-dinner-hours venue, Mr Hawthorne was confronted by an equally aggressive club bouncer, who’s first question was as expected.

“How much you had tonight mate”

Dominic paused briefly.

The line behind him and increasingly inpatient security guard awaited the burley 6 foot two Queenslander’s response.

“I had roughly twenty beers between lunch and sunset. I started drinking dark spirits when we went for Chinese, and probably had six or seven of them” he said confidently.

“So yeah, roughly 30, 35 standard drinks”

“That’s if you were only asking about alcohol, I spose”

The entire crowd stood in awe, except for a few likeminded piss wrecks who nod at Dominic as if to say how impressed they are.

The bouncer, known only as #21, responds in disbelief.

“Are you fucking serious, bro”

“Are you fucked in the head? Why would you tell me that”

Dominic appears puzzled.

“Well, in fairness, you did ask”

A voice of an equally husky rum pig four people back pipes up.

“Fair crack. He’s a big a unit, he can handle more than most”

However, the nonchalant attitude held by Dominic and his growing posse of allies has done nothing to prevent immediate action by the hotel management, who due to the fact that he is standing within four metres of the premises, consider him to be in their duty of care.

Within minutes ambulances have arrived to take the young man to the RBH for a stomach pump.

“Come on, this is a storm in a teacup” he says.

“Just let me get a slice of New York Slice and I’ll come back in half an hour”


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