A top-secret order of Indigenous powerbrokers have today met in an abandoned La Perouse warehouse to begin strategising the long-awaited collapse of the British Empire.

Known only as ‘New World Aunties’ – the organisation has been likened to the Enlightenment-era Bavarian Illuminati – and hold great influence over mainstream Australian society.

Since their formation in the early days of English settlement, the New World Aunties have operated as a shadow force of political influence over Australian politics, with the aim of implementing the Global Aboriginal Agenda.

The NWA hold discreet ties to the Irish Republican Army and Catalan Separatist Movement, and are believed to have been the driving force behind the Menzies Government’s Commonwealth Electoral Act of 1962, and the Indigenous-heavy Queensland State Of Origin selections of the early 2010s.

However, as of this week, the group has since set their sights on crushing colonial oppression from the head of the snake.


As of 48 hours ago, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has appointed Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott as an official UK trade adviser, defying widespread condemnation of the former Australian prime minister’s record of misogyny and homophobia and his views on the climate emergency.

Abbott, whose consideration for the role prompted criticism from opposition parties, charities and LGBT and environmental activists, is among nine external advisers appointed to the Board of Trade. The board, revived by Theresa May, is intended to help shape post-Brexit trade policy.

However, while the the British left-wing are distracted by his apparent socially regressive opinions, Australia’s Indigenous puppeteers are rubbing their hands with glee.

“The day has come” said the nameless leader of the Aunties, as the secret meeting commenced.

“We have an uncle on the inside”

“They thought an apology at Parliament House was where it ended…”

“They were wrong”

Uncle Tony X is on Downing Street”

“Decolonisation starts with Brexit”



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