Donald Trump Asks Peta Credlin To Help Make America Great Again
23 September, 2015. 11:10
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Peta Credlin, the chief of staff to former prime minister Tony Abbott, says she has no intention of entering politics, while urging women to take on more leadership roles.
"Don't be afraid of entering politics, girls. Just because I am steering clear of it, doesn't mean you should," said the sexually-charged political powerhouse.
"Trust...
Prime Minister Turnbull is flawless, says Eastern Suburbs artist
22 September, 2015. 16:10
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
The newly sworn-in Prime Minister of Australia, Malcolm Turnbull, has today appeared as the subject of a "guerrilla art" instalment that hangs from the roof of a historic hotel in his hometown electorate.
In the style of Obama's iconic image of "hope" made famous during the 2008 Obama campaign, Mr Turnbull stands as tall...
New McDonalds breakfast item will only please dickheads
22 September, 2015. 16:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
MULTI-NATIONAL FAST food giant McDonalds announced today that in light of a recent report that suggests more and more young people are shunning the comfort food for more healthy options, they're going to start trialling more fuckwit friendly options such smashed avocado on toast and muesli bowls.
"It's a risk, but it's...
Nick Cave Begs Senator Brandis To Slash Funding To The Betoota Advocate
18 September, 2015. 16:10
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Not even an entire day after Australian musical icon Nick Cave wrote andopen letter to Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull asking him to sack Senator George Brandis as Minister for the Arts, and restore independent funding and oversight to the literary sector, The Betoota Advocate has been informed that our humble online newspaper is next on the chopping...
Grown Man Who Enjoys Rollerblading Gets Way More Action Than You
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Jerry Antoniou is a self-described "adrenaline junkie" who spends his afternoons taking part in high-speed rollerblading at local boardwalks.
Jerry is 42-years-old and has been to three different Nickelback concerts in three different international cities. He owns thirteen different types of fedora hats and three variations of Crocs.
"I don't know what it is, I've just...
Julia Gillard mentors Malcolm Turnbull ahead of leadership showdown
14 September, 2015. 15:36
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
FORMER PRIME MINISTER Julia Gillard has reportedly visited the openly-republican communications minister Malcolm Turnbull this morning after speculation over his leadership aspirations reached boiling point. Ms Gillard was seen walking the yard with the 60-year-old in his Point Piper enclave early this morning.
Adding fuel to the fire, Mr Turnbull was observed...
Craft Cigarette Festival hits back at skyrocketing tobacco taxes
11 September, 2015. 15:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SPEAKING FROM THE HEART, tobacco enthusiast Max Davis says the latest 12.5% increase in the price of cigarettes has been a sickening breath of fresh air. Rather than take the news lying down, the 24-year-old barman lashed out at the government this morning as more and more of his meager wage...
Abbott Announces Off-Planetary Solution For Syrian Asylum Seekers
9 September, 2015. 11:10
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
The Australian Government today announced a 100-year economic model that shows a considerable reduction in the costs of global detention, as well as a humane solution for the hordes currently fleeing war and danger. Announcing a new Government department dedicated to finding solutions for an increasing stateless population, the PM fronted a press conference...
Fucking loser worried dishevelled Syrian refugee will take his job
8 September, 2015. 14:46
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
NATHAN DECANTER earns a little more than somebody on the NewStart allowance. Each morning, he rises at 4:30am to make the hour long commute to his job at an abattoir in Rockhampton. While he certainly wasn't, by his own admission, the best student at school - he can still read and write...
Local Anti-Vaxxer Won’t Be Content Until Polio Comes Roaring Back Into Aussie Households
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
ANTI-VACCINATION ADVOCATES have banded together to form a co-op style daycare facility for children battling measles after the nation faces a sharp increase in cases of the highly infectious and often fatal disease - all stemming from the anti-vaxxer movement, which proponents say offers an alternative to government-mandated immunisations.
Helen Wollstein says she felt the ill-effects...