23 September, 2015. 11:10

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Peta Credlin, the chief of staff to former prime minister Tony Abbott, says she has no intention of entering politics, while urging women to take on more leadership roles.

“Don’t be afraid of entering politics, girls. Just because I am steering clear of it, doesn’t mean you should,” said the sexually-charged political powerhouse.

“Trust me. I’ve held 100% control over our government from behind the scenes. These blokes are nothing more than a bunch of horny sports-nerds”.

Peta Credlin, "Australia's Claire Underwood"
Peta Credlin, “Australia’s Claire Underwood”

Ms Credlin has spoken out for the first time since Mr Abbott lost the prime ministership to Malcolm Turnbull in last week’s Liberal leadership spill, announcing that she now looks forward to a career in the far more sophisticated American political system.

She told the Women of the Future Awards in Sydney she would “sleep well at night” for her role in elevating Mr Abbott to the top job in 2013, but is looking forward to the next chapter of her life.

“Donald Trump has hired me to help guide him through his Republican nomination,”

“If all goes to plan I’ll be his Chief of Staff in the race for President as well,”

Donald Trump is certain he can Make America Great Again
Donald Trump is certain he can Make America Great Again

Mr Trump was the first to speak pubicly over his hiring of a new “executioner”. Speaking to Fox News this morning, Mr Trump says that Ms Credlin would be the force he needs to combat the blue states if he is able to win a the repubican nomination.

“I’m up against either a socialist Jew or a blonde bombshell feminist, I need a more moderate voice in my campaign,” said Mr Trump

“And from what I have heard, Ms Credlin did wonders for the popularity of the Australian Left. ”

“I’m hoping to harness her ability to communicate with left-wing voters. The Northern states need to know that there is more to me than the Great Wall Of Texas,”

When asked if he was worried that hiring Peta Credlin might result in him being toppled from within his own party, Mr Trump said that was not a concern.

“Absolutely not. The American political system isn’t built that way. I would need to be impeached for that to happen… And if they didn’t impeach that Muslim Barack Obama for having a fake birth certificate, they sure as hell won’t be impeaching me.”

“Americans can’t just swap and change their nation’s leaders like the Aussies. Nothing would ever get done,”





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