The Nation

‘Ugly’ Logie Award to come with optional paper bag this year

7 May, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN LIGHT OF RECENT REMARKS by a leading figure of Australia's entertainment industry, the organisers of the TV Week Logie Awards has decided to issue the trophy this year with an optional paper bag to go over the top of it. It comes after revelations that many winners of the prestigious gong have...

Experts Confirm Cops Will Never Be Cool, Even With Viral Dance Videos

7 May, 2016 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It started as a viral video challenge that started as a police recruitment strategy by some rhythmic Kiwi police officers dancing to the groovy sounds of My Boo by the Ghost Town DJ's using the hashtag #runningmanchallenge. The original challenge video, initially made popular by American sports stars and teams who posted videos of them performing the dance, was...

First-homebuyer protesting budget sets self on fire outside Scott Morrison’s home

6 May, 2016. 11:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER BEING TOLD THAT he'll never be settled in Sydney, a first home-buyer has set himself alight outside Treasurer Scott Morrison's Sutherland Shire home to protest the obvious short-comings in his budget. The prospect for young people of not owning a house in Australia's largest city is unfathomable, especially after the journey...

George Christensen MP Calls For Ban On All Migrants Except Nepalese Kitchen Staff

6 May, 2016 13:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT George Robert Christensen MP has today called for Australia to close all borders to migrants, asylum seekers and refugees - unless they are Nepalese and willing to work in a pub kitchen. The rotund Member for Dawson has today announced that he can no longer remain silent over the fact that "when it comes to Asians"...

Farmer’s son doesn’t like Bob Dylan despite driving his header for 10 years

6 May, 2016. 9:45 KEVIN DANIELS | Editor-at-large | Contact EACH SCHOOL HOLIDAYS HE'S sowed more acres than an idle townie drunk - he's more trusted than even the most experience Irish backpacker. He's a farmer's son. When the eventual heralding happens around the start of Easter of the great Summer Holidays, he'll find and excuse to stay down in the warm country - an...

Report: Australians Not Really That Laid Back

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THOMISH MADHAMEETIOU IS OFTEN the life of the party. Booze, women, party drugs - each weekend is a Brazillian barbeque of sin and liquid virility. Outsiders and acquaintances claim that the 26-year-old would die each Monday if he didn't share his genetic material with at least four other people. But some weekends are what's know as a 'bye-weekend',...

Barcaldine Forced To Endure Yet Another Condescending Visit From Labor Party Stalwarts

3 May, 2016 14:45 BEAU CHANDLER | Barcaldine Correspondent | CONTACT Tree clearing in Queensland is hotter than Cloncurry in high summer. With local farmers pulling into Bacaldine over the weekend offering to pull down the famous Tree of Knowledge, in an attempt to save residents from any future patronising ALP parades. As former prime minister Bob Hawke was pushed in a wheelchair leading the...

Four Corners reveals young first-homebuyers should kill themselves now

3 May, 2016. 9:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO buy a house in an Australian capital city before you die, then you might as well pull the plastic bag over your head and do it now to prevent a life of perpetual disappointment and self-loathing, according to ABC's Four Corners programme last night. Better yet, if...

Local woman unaware of country empire held by man pissing in his own mouth

30 April, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WHEN HE COMES TO SYDNEY, he really loves to tie one on. He's not worried about property prices or where his next meal is coming from. Stephen "Plumber" Kaneladdy can wake up each morning after a bender and lie content in his own filth knowing that everything will be OK for him. A king...

Local legend plans to get Grant-Hackett-wheelchair-nipple-tweaking-blind this weekend

29 April, 2016. 16:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 23-YEAR-OLD-PISS-CUTTING-LEGEND has confirmed his intentioned to get Grant Hackett wheelchair blind this weekend, coming just days after swearing the drink off forever after ANZAC Day. Brenton Ellis Carter from the central Queensland district of Adavale says he's hired a wheelchair for the weekend and he intends to put it to good use. Arriving...

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