6 May, 2016 13:15


George Robert Christensen MP has today called for Australia to close all borders to migrants, asylum seekers and refugees – unless they are Nepalese and willing to work in a pub kitchen.

The rotund Member for Dawson has today announced that he can no longer remain silent over the fact that “when it comes to Asians” he feels that the “only real contributors are the Nepalese”.

These comments come not even two months after the Mackay-based Reclaim Australia member called for a Royal Commission into why Sizzler outlets keep closing down.

Speaking to media this morning in his Central Queensland backwater of an electorate, Christensen said he has spent a lot of time meeting, researching and auditing ‘New Australians’ and is confident in his proposed solution.

“Nepalese are the only ones who get on with everyone else. Everyone else are bludgers trying to infiltrate Australian society with their own backwards views” says the former community newspaper editor.

“The Neppos [Nepalese] are the ones in the back of the pub cooking up shnittys and mixed grills. None of this halal falafel shit,”

Mr Christensen, who was one of the loudest opponents to the proposed SAFER SCHOOLS program which was created to help instil a bit of sensitivity within Australian high schools and stop gay teenagers from killing themselves, says he’s spent a lot of time eating ‘pub grub’ and that no one does a better job of it than the overworked Nepali kitchen staff in the back of the hotels he frequents across Australia.

“Australian hospitality depends on Neppos. But everyone else can get fucked. Especially anyone who wants to destroy Australian culture with their weird religions.” said the morbidly obese Greek Orthodox.

“Have you ever had a Guinness pot pie cooked by a Neppo? [heavy breathing] Holy shit they are good.”



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