The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CLIMATE SCIENTISTS WITHIN THE Greens party have declared the drought over, as many long-parched swathes of Western NSW are now awash with swollen creeks and rivers. Dams that were boiled dry by the sun just months ago are now overflowing, giving the few farmers who've weathered a lack of storms a little bit of hope. Greens...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THERE IS A CERTAIN AROMA to urine that's gone stale inside a person, it usually smells like Tooheys White Stag passed through an old Dunlop Volley. It's unmistakable. The most civilised Australians have a can of Glen20 for moments like this, for the hours after you've been forced to have fish soup for lunch or even the most...

17 June, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JUST DAYS AFTER THE Courier-Mail reported that the prime minister is a humanoid reptilian sent from the future to enslave us all, Malcolm Turnbull has laughed off the allegations - saying he's 'fully human' and he even farts in bed like normal people do. "The only positive thing that The Courier-Mail does is wrap...

15 June, 2016. 18:05 OFFICIAL STATEMENT | Contact The Betoota Advocate's editors Errol Parker and Clancy Overell would like to finally face the media regarding the swirling rumours that suggest it was them playing the murdered LNP and ALP candidates from the Kennedy Electorate in Bob Katter's controversial new campaign video. Errol Parker has spoken on the matter. "This is in fact the truth,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THINKING HIS LIFE COULDN'T get any better after receiving as PS- grade in statistics this semester, one Cairns business student has had his socks blown off by adding imitation crab meat to his usual bowl of afternoon Mi Goreng. Moving exceptionally slower than he did in high school, Max Flaghouse said his body reflects the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE SNOWY MOUNTAINS HAS long been an exclusive enclave, only accessible to those who can afford to take a week of work and blow a few bucks. For far too long, Australia's ski fields have been prohibitively expensive to Australia's hardest workers. Until now. Lesley Stratton breaks shit up and throws it in a skip six days a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact STOPPING SHORT OF TELLING Australians to reconsider their need to travel to the United States, the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trading has updated the Smarttraveller.gov.au to reflect the growing threat to human life and political stability in the United States. The update comes after the United States' own travel advisory website recommended earlier this...

12 June, 2016. 11:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN AN AGE WHERE flying is considered the safest method of transport, hundreds of people die every year from doing it. However, in the opinion of one semi-retired Brisbane landscaper, there's one airline that can almost guarantee that they won't fly you into a mountainside. Glenn Campbell agrees that when you fly with...

11 June, 2016. 18:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IF THERE'S ANYTHING that every young person in the free world can agree on, it's that everything Coldplay has released since 2008 has been dog shit. Taking some time out of his busy long weekend, Greg Peacock flicked through a few old Facebook albums of him and the squad back at school. The...

11 June, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact KEVIN GREENHOLM SAYS he should've walked out when his partner in crime started nearly sorting the chips by weight. That was when he was only $5000 in the hole. The 59-year-old semi-retired geologist admits he should've known better, saying that he hatched the plan to take his autistic childhood friend to Jupiter's Casino...