Morrison Wondering What Other Terrifying Reports He Can Release This Close To Christmas
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prime Minister Morrison is today wondering whether now is a good time to air out as much of the government's dirty laundry as...
Recent School Leaver Stoked For A Whole Week Of Family Members Asking About Her ATAR
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A local Betootan school leaver has confirmed today that she is very much looking forward to the week ahead.
Recently completing her secondary schooling...
“Quick! Introduce Yourself. I’ve Forgotten This Dickhead’s Name” Says Salesman At Client Event
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Local payroll software salesman Kyle Shayler has today drawn upon his industry intuition, and navigated his way around a sticky situation.
A couple of...
Nation Far More Invested In Outcome Of Paine-Kohli Battle Than Who’ll Become The Next PM
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
It has been confirmed today that the people of Australia are far more intrigued by current the battle between two test cricket captains,...
Science Confirms A $7 Monday Juice Cancels Out A Dozen Beers From Weekend
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Betoota University School of Science has released some interesting research today, confirming that an expensive takeaway juice on a Monday morning can have...
Universities To Recognise Netflix Documentaries And Joe Rogan Podcast As Offical Qualifications
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
In news that may upset some properly qualified professionals, universities have today announced that from 2020 onwards they will be recognising Netflix documentaries...
Mate Unsuccessfully Tries To Bring In Lingo From Other Friendship Group
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Local man Richard Lexington has just broken the flow of conversation with his mates by trying to drop in lingo from another friendship...
Byron Bay Erect New Sculpture As A Tribute To The Appendage Attached To Most Residents Heads
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A new statue erected overnight on the newly opened $5.6 million Bayshore Drive Roundabout at Byron Bay has been described as the...
Millennial Describes Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah As ‘Song From Shrek’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Local millennial Ashley Raymond (24) has left older members of her family feeling a little queasy today, as the post-grad student describe...
Dawson Trial Adjourned After Wifi Issues Stop Court Getting Past 2nd Ep Of Teachers Pet Podcast
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A court in Sydney has been left ruing technology today.
The court hosting the well publicised Chris Dawson case has been let down by...
