Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Whether it be on the topic of immigration, the economy or any other national issue, Bryce Nicols has an opinion on it. Taking his news from a wide variety of sources, the 41-year-old North Betoota diesel fitter quickly comes to an informed conclusion, which he promptly shares with his 117 Facebook friends. Highlights from this year...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Elderly Italian-Australian, Dominic Ambrosini (72) is completely fine with securing the country's borders from anymore immigrants, it has been confirmed. The retired barbershop owner from Betoota's recently gentrified East End has many reasons for his seemingly irrational xenophobia, most of which are which are a result of long-held prejudices that have followed him from his home country. "The...

8 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After news broke earlier today regarding the extent that the Central Intelligence Agency was surveilling ordinary people, a local man formerly chastised for taping up his webcam has now been vindicated. Activist agency WikiLeaks released a swathe of leaked documents this morning which detailed just how much control government spy agencies...

8 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact If you've run your hand under any restaurant, pub or club table around town and felt a small crop chewing gums stuck to the underside, chances are it was put there by Elliot 'Stagecoach' Cunningham. For the past 20 years, the Dolphins hooker has terrorised publicans and restaurateurs with his discarded bubble gum wrappers...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local grub has sought to improve his public image by posting a series of images of him posing with his cousin's best friend's newborn baby girl to his Instagram account. James Nerada was able to convince himself moments before asking to be handed the child that if he did share some candid pics of him with...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a 6:30 pm knock off, local man Nick Nelson (31) had only two schooeys at the Lord Betoota Hotel last night, before heading home. "I'd had a late lunch at work so wasn't thinking about dinner, got to the pub for a few throat charmers and all of a sudden I felt like I'd had ten of...

7 March, 2017. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Taking the moral high-ground by throwing her chair in a creek, a local public relations account director has taken to standing at her North Betoota desk - putting her wellbeing first before comfort. The healthy choice has allowed Julianne Busbey to look down at those who still sit down and work like neanderthals, judging them silently...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local flakey Dad, Scott Abetz (62) says that if Muslims want to move here, they better learn about Aussie values. "This wildly varying religion of 1.6 billion people have a different set of family values. A different way of life" he says. "They are trying to change what we have" Scott, who has three children from two different marriages in two...

6 March, 2017. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In an effort to maintain a level of consistency this Test series, the Indian Cricket Board (ICB) has made a formal request to the Diamantina Shire Council for another drop-in pitch from the back blocks of South West Betoota. Late last year, the controlling entity of Indian cricket purchased two pitches from...

6 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There is a man who works for a local IT business who is normal in every other way, save for the fact that he enjoys drinking his tea with milk. As his disgusted co-workers look on, Johnathon Tabernacle often leaves his desk around 11 each morning to fix himself a cuppa. For...