Local News

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactA revelation has occurred in a Betoota Heights shopping centre this morning, one that could solve the cost of living crisis once and for all.In the massive shopping centre structure, if a consumer walks up the northern escalators and into quadrant G4 on the map, they’ll find themselves entering the centre’s key anchor tenant, Skinners. Betoota’s very own supermarket...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAn apprentice cook has been spotted sprinting down Milton Street this evening after being sent to the Betoota Caltex for an emergency grocery buy.Only two weeks into his apprenticeship at the Courthouse Hotel, it’s alleged Jacko Shandy (20) was told to run to the closest servo and buy a Mrs Macs after a weird customer ordered...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has this week been forced to pull the parachute on a one night stand, after stumbling upon something in her apartment that was so distressing, he couldn’t stay a moment longer. Looking shaken as he recounted last night’s activities to our reporter, Trevor Nayman, 34, says he’d genuinely thought the woman in question, Katrina, was a...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a shock turn of events an Aussie couple has returned home from a European holiday overjoyed with their decision to get married.According to friends of the couple, they found out via an invite-a-collaborator post on Instagram and the several hundred ring pics in their stories in the days that have followed.However, some real fans claimed they knew...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights brainiac has scoffed at the very offer of sunscreen today, telling the person offering it to him that he's not a leftie. "Sunscreen?" chuckled the anonymous picnic attendee. "How about you take that and squirt it up my arse." The man was observed speaking loudly and drinking to excess by The Advocate's Clancy Overell,...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA new symbol for working class Australia has now been discovered, the green text bubble. Much like a tan in the 1800s, once viewed as a symbol for working class, manual, agricultural labour; the green text bubble is being viewed by some as the 21 century marker for being working class. While some are saying the connection between phone choice...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A canceled Christmas-themed dinner has brought relief and pensive relaxation to a dozen French Quarter city workers who all told The Advocate that they needed a reprieve from this endless season of consumption. Six players from a local league futsal team and their respective partners were due to meet tonight at Reece Stimp's home for...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLocal street wear store Cat Daddy Collective, has announced it's really banking on a 2010's resurgence for them to be financially viable moving forward."Think about it – we've already seen the Y2K resurgence with low-rise jeans and bedazzled everything. Now it's time for the millennials to reclaim their fashion legacy,"says Danilo Garcia (35) the store's owner."I'm really just...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA pair of free tickets to the NBL are likely to be wasted tonight as a Sydney man struggles to offload them to any of his mates. Blessed with the fact that his wife works in media sponsorships, Alex Adams (32) gets unlimited access to freebie tickets for events across Sydney. Whether it’s the AFL, A-league, or the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA pair of hopeful homeowners have made a final and cunning play to leave the torture of house hunting behind.Currently living at home, Linda and Micha of Betoota Heights are hoping to get a foot on the property ladder even if the first rung is seven feet up and the ladder has been made of rotting wood since...