An apprentice cook has been spotted sprinting down Milton Street this evening after being sent to the Betoota Caltex for an emergency grocery buy.

Only two weeks into his apprenticeship at the Courthouse Hotel, it’s alleged Jacko Shandy (20) was told to run to the closest servo and buy a Mrs Macs after a weird customer ordered the pie, mash and peas off the menu at the pub.

Speaking to head chef at the Courty, Jason “Big Parma” Parley (42), the well known cook was baffled why anyone would choose such a thing, especially when there are was so many better options available.

“Mate I have no idea who in their right mind comes in here and orders the Pie and Mash, especially when I’m doing an $18 Lamb Cutlet special with onion rings,” said Jason, as he quickly mashed some peas with a dirty fork.”

“In what world does someone think they’ll get a good pie in here, do they think I’m out the back rolling fresh pastry every morning and letting a slow cooker sweat all day before dinner?”

“There’s a reason why I’ve got it priced at $28, it’s so that no idiot orders it!”

Speaking to the customer in question, The Advocate can confirm the meal was ordered by Irish expat Dennis O’Leary (32), a South Dublin man who’s just touched down in Betoota after a three month stint picking fruit in North Queensland.

Having already demolished five pints of Guinness, The Advocate can reveal Dennis was so pissed he blindly chose the pie of the menu, and was otherwise pretty incoherent.

“Yer’ man in the kitchen betta cook us a good wun’ or I’ll flog em’,” said Dennis, the only man in the pub watching a delayed broadcast of the PDC World Darts championship.”

“I’ll be stingin’ for a pie n’ mash, I’ve been livin’ off sour fruit for weeks, that pie best be soaked in gravy or I’ll break this here TV!”

More to come.


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