Headlines

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese is under fire today, after making a significant blunder on the first full official day of election campaigning. After months of guerilla campaigning, the Leader of the Labor party has hit the election trail at full speed, by fumbling through the employment rate and the cash rate in a morning interview. When asked about...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Betoota Height's most slept-on social commentators, Jimmy Harnett (34) thinks he might have found the right format this week. In his fifth attempt at launching a podcast, it seems this open-minded suburban white boy might have finally stumbled across the right blend of light entertainment and heavy-hitting real-life-shit. Ever since he first stumbled across long form audio files...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new report has found that going to court with your own party's rank and file members on the eve of a Federal Election might actually not be the best way to begin a campaign. This comes as Scotty From Marketing chalks up his first win in months. Unfortunately it wasn't against the opposition - rather, the people that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With days, or even hours, until the Prime Minister calls the 2022 Federal Election - campaign mode has well and truly started. And with a government facing some of the most gruelling opinion polls ever served to a sitting PM this close to the ballot, the behaviour of our Federal MPs is going to look a lot different to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT IT'S HECTIC BRo: The PM has today continued his last minute campaign to win over the crucial Lebanese vote, after damning allegations of racist bullying within his inner-circle of the Liberal Party. Starting by switching up his choice of government vehicle to an all black dual-cab hilux. Explosive revelation have come to light that the Lebanese man who initially beat...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has once again flatly denied the claims made by high-ranking members of his own party that he is outgoing is an “autocrat” and a “bully” - particularly towards people of Middle Eastern descent. On Tuesday evening, Liberal Senator Fierravanti-Wells told the Senate there were statutory declarations claiming that when Morrison ran for the seat of Cook...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today begun implementing his most ambitious marketing spin of all time: Convincing Lebanese voters that he does not have a history of stirring up racial and religious prejudices to further his career. This comes after explosive allegations come to light that the Lebanese man who initially beat Scotty in a ballot to contest...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In BREAKING news, it appears that Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing - a politician who made his name detaining war-weary asylum seekers in sweltering offshore prisons as Immigration Minister under Tony Abbott - might actually have a track record of stirring up racial and religious prejudice in an effort to further his career. These allegations emerge just days before...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what is sure to gain Scotty more support amongst his mates from his fellow larrikins of Australia, the PM showed up to work today and actually did his job in a hilarious April Fools Day prank. At the time of writing, Scotty’s greatest political accomplishments mostly include all the times he denied responsibility for the tasks resting at...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The long-suffering people of Northern New South Wales have had enough, according to recent date from Australia's leading Christian head-count surveyers. New data finds residents of both the Mid-North Coast and further up to the Northern Rivers are leaving the Church in droves. That's according to the Bureau Of Nation's God Watchers And The Enthusiastically Religious (BONGWATER). The most recent BONGWATER...