With days, or even hours, until the Prime Minister calls the 2022 Federal Election – campaign mode has well and truly started.

And with a government facing some of the most gruelling opinion polls ever served to a sitting PM this close to the ballot, the behaviour of our Federal MPs is going to look a lot different to what we are used to.

With Labor Leader Anthony Albanese even going as far as addressing the traditionally hostile National Farmers Federation Conference in person, and sitting Liberals openly tearing strips off our Prime Minister in both Parliament and to the media – no one knows which way is up anymore.

One thing that is for certain is that the only thing stopping the Coalition from winning another term in government is the gaffe-prone Scott Morrison who appears to have lost complete control over how the media reports on him, after five years of rather flattering coverage.

However, with more and more Hawaii-sized fuck ups penetrating the Costello/Murdoch forcefield, it seems that both the Liberal backbenchers and the National Party heavyweights are having to get out there and run a campaign of their own. One that distances them from the Pentecostal churches of the Sutherland Shire.

Today, the National Party’s leaders have fronted a press conference where they didn’t once mention Scotty or ‘The Coalition’

Instead, both Senator Bridget McKenzie, David Littleproud MP and Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce have fired the starter gun on what looks to be a very Nationals-centric election campaign – without any of the Prime Minister’s focus-grouped slogans or soundbites.

The most notably difference to this new and improve rural campaigning is the lack of sparkling clean Akubras and mint condition RM Williams boots – after new internal data showed that not every rural voter lives on 100,000 acres and ride horses at work.

Speaking to the media today in a pair of baggy FUBU metallic denim cargo trousers and a Jet Pilot hat, Barnaby Joyce appears to making a move for the townie vote – a crucial rural demographic that is often ignored by the Coalition’s Man-From-Snowy-River cosplay.

Complete with the puffy DC skateshoes and a can of Monster Energy drink, the Deputy PM has urged rural voters to not forget that his party backs youse wunundred pacent.

“None of this Liberal shit” he said.

“Fuck the submarines and car parks”

“The National Party will deliver Subways and skate parks”


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