ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the great minds of Australian Liberalism has spoken this week about why he thinks the Liberal Party has lost its way recently.

Scott Morrison joined a number of former Liberal leaders at a party event today in Sydney, where each of them made a lukewarm endorsement of Morrison except for Malcolm Turnbull.

John Howard, a multi-term Liberal Prime Minister, made the chillingly accurate observation about how voters feel towards Scott Morrison in the lead up to the election.

“People have personal grievances with Scott Morrison,” said Howard.

Fellow former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull took the opportunity to interject.

“No shit, you silly old c…” said Turnbull before the microphone was taken off him by a very handsome, relatively hairless Young Liberal with a soft face and androgynous features.

“Uh, back to what I was saying,” continued Howard.

“I feel that Australians, including some of our disgruntled female colleagues and Barnaby, have trouble separating Scott Morrison from the Liberal Party. They are looking to vote the Liberal Party out because they don’t like Scott Morrison.”

Howard was again interrupted. This time by Phillip Ruddock breaking wind without realising he did.

“What I’m trying to say is that we’re having problems getting our message out. I mean, the sons of the nation’s movers and shakers, the ones that wear puffer vests in autumn, I still get their dick hard. They are our future. But even I have a problem separating myself, the John Howard brand, from the Liberal Party,” Howard said.

“So what I propose is, we need to come up with a plan to make Scott Morrison more popular. Then we will win.”

More to come.


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