Politics

Fairfax Welcomes Anti-Gay Marriage Advertisers As Long As They Can Pay Up Front

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The latests announcements surrounding campaign funds for an Australian postal vote into the legality of same-sex marriage has put the executive staff members of Fairfax media in somewhat of a difficult position, it has been revealed. With the news that commercial media enterprises, such as television networks and newspapers, would be paid to carry advertisements for...

Bill Shorten signs on as Skechers Shape Up! brand ambassador with toned new look

13 September, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact HAVING A PERT DERRIERE IS seemingly compulsory in today's modern cruel world - and Canberra isn't immune to the growing trend of looking your best naked. Everybody from federal members of parliament to your run-of-the-mill junkie yelling in the street is feeling pressured to stay beautiful, with the likes of Opposition leader Bill Shorten and...

Heartbreaking: After 5 Years In The Young Liberals, This Lame Cunt Still Hasn’t Impressed Dad

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rising Young Liberal member, Angus Hopscotch-Thorley (22) has today realised that the last five years he has spent wearing three-piece suits and taking university politics way too seriously still isn't enough for dad to love him. From the moment he finished his end of year exams at high school, Angus has attended fortnightly meetings for...

George Christensen MP Effeminately Giggles At Abbott’s Joke About Circumcised Penises

23 August, 2016. 15:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Tension has arisen between two of the most quotable members of the Australian Government's hard-right faction today, as former Prime Minister Tony Abbott vows to distance himself from the Federal Member for Dawson, George Christensen MP. The split has arisen after Mr Abbott's recent visit to the outskirts of Mackay, in what many political...

NSW Premier Mike Baird Mandates That Sydney Buskers Should Only Play Christian Rock

22 August, 2016 14:00 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Premier Mike Baird has today ruled that special NSW state government rangers will be issuing fines to any street artists seen to be performing 'offensive' or 'unsavoury' music in inner-city Sydney. While giving the opening speech at the Australian Christian Lobby's quarterly AGM, the Premier spoke proudly of the transformation Sydney has seen in the...

Brian Cox Not Convinced That One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts Is Real

16 August, 2016. 11:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Following the embarrassing Climate Change showdown on Q&A last night which saw world-renowned British physicist Brian Cox was forced to explain the concept of temperature to One Nation senator-elect Malcolm Roberts, the visiting professor from Manchester University has today revealed that he is not sure he was even arguing with a...

Peter Dutton responds to the Nauru files: “I’m fucked”

11 August, 2016. 13:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE NAURU FILES ARE the largest set of leaked documents published from inside Australia’s immigration detention system. They are a set of more than 2,000 incident reports from the Nauru detention centre, written by guards, caseworkers and teachers on the remote Pacific island. They are extremely damning and detail the systematic violation...

Local Leftie Hopes Waleed Aly Doesn’t Notice He’s Started Buying Coles Brand Milk Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact HE WAS SO MOVED BY WALEED ALY'S call to arms to buy name brand milk to support our dairy farmers, he even bought himself a Stetson. However, as time marches on, local socialist Hayden Hatton has fallen back into his old habit of buying the cheapest possible product - and more often than not, it's...

George Christensen vows to protect every Australian’s right to mayonnaise

26 July, 2016. 10:56 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CONTROVERSIAL NORTHERN QUEENSLAND POLITICIAN George Christensen has kept his first election promise by ramping up his war on the powerful anti-mayonnaise lobby who will rest at nothing until the delicious thick, creamy dressing is removed from supermarket shelves. Known throughout Queensland for its ability to turn any sandwich into a finger-licking good time, mayonnaise...

Man who throws rocks at buses explains how you can’t be racist towards a religion

26 July, 2016. 10:56 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TAKING A DRAG OF a Longbeach Menthol then spitting between his filthy Globes, Jaydyn Harper said that he's "not even a fucking racist" because you can't be racist towards a religion. The 23-year-old disability pension recipient took time out from throwing rocks at buses to speak to The Advocate this morning. "Mate, just...

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