Politics

Guardian Reporters Trying Their Best Not To Acknowledge That Trump Is Going To Win This Thing

22 July, 2016 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following both the Republican and Democratic Conventions, as well as the recent DNC wikileaks emails, political reporters from The Guardian are now trying their very best to cover the US Presidential election without acknowledging the fact that Donald Trump is almost a sure bet to win this thing. Speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, former...

Mike Baird Bans Blowjobs

14 July, 2016. 11:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Female-on-male and male-on-male oral sex will be banned in New South Wales from July 1 next year, with Premier Mike Baird saying the "widespread and systemic flagrance of sexual activity outside of wedlock" cannot be tolerated by the State Government and police force. Mr Baird and his close friend, NSW Police Chief Scipione, have...

Turnbull announces Fibre to the Home NBN will cause meme-related autism

12 July, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN STICKING WITH HIS plan for our future, prime minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced today that his Fibre to the Node dream for the National Broadband Network will go ahead, because bringing fibre into the home can cause autism. Autism from memes. Speaking today beside the communications minister, the PM outlined that there's...

Pauline Hanson’s Media Boycott Leaves Sunrise In Need Of A New Islam Expert

12 July, 2016. 13:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Last week the recently elected federal senator and leader of the far-right political party One Nation, Pauline Hanson, struck back at the patronising Australian media by posting a video on Facebook, now viewed more than 370,000 times, in which she told her supporters she was putting the news outlets on notice. I wouldn’t mind a...

Local Underachiever Can’t Blame Anyone For His Life After 7 Days Of No Government

8 July, 2016. 09:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local underachiever, Ben Inglis, no longer has anyone to blame for his lack of life savings, job security, sobriety and education - it has been confirmed. The 31-year-old freelance sign-writer has for a long time been able to justify his lack of life stability with topical but obscure political jargon related to whichever particular...

Wyatt Roy Returns To Previous Position Drinking Tallies Outside Caboolture Train Station

7 July, 2016. 17:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact While Liberal MP Wyatt Roy appears to have lost out to his ALP opponent, Susan Lamb for the Longman electorate north of Brisbane, the 26-year-old is still holding out while more results from the weekend's election are being voted. In the meanwhile, the born and bred Caboolture boy has returned to his previous post, drinking...

CHILCOT: John Howard uses the Harriet Wran defence – “I was there, but I didn’t kill anyone”

7 July, 2016. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact GEORGE W. BUSH AND TONY BLAIR were the ones who wanted to topple the Saddam Hussien regime, John Howard just happened to be there at the time. That's the message from Gen Y's most beloved former prime minister today, as he defended his involved in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. John Howard has...

Cory Bernardi discovered playing as transgender werewolf in Second Life

7 July, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact RIPPLES OF IMMORALITY ARE making their way through the Liberal Party this morning as controversial senator Cory Bernardi has been discovered playing the widely popular MMORPG, Second Life, as a transgender werewolf. Since 2012, the 46-year-old has been interacting with other users of the perverted video game as "Akiriana", a non-binary-yet-transgender-third-generation werewolf from...

Albo Secretly Wants Turnbull To Win By A Landslide

4 July, 2016. 17:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Despite being a high-ranking ALP 'executioner' - Former Deputy Prime Minister and the Member For Grayndler, Anthony Albanese MP is secretly hoping that this current election will result in a majority LNP Government, it has been confirmed. After getting a taste of the power as Rudd's Deputy, 'Albo' was initially hoping that Prime Minister...

90% of Millennials would rather have Tony Abbott back than be forced to vote again

5 July, 18:01 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact ONE OF THE POSSIBLE OUTCOMES of this year's election is that we might be heading back to the polls sooner than we think. Australians are facing the prospect of having to cast two federal votes this year after last weekend's result has done nothing except make the whole situation worse. However, news that this might...

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