The latests announcements surrounding campaign funds for an Australian postal vote into the legality of same-sex marriage has put the executive staff members of Fairfax media in somewhat of a difficult position, it has been revealed.

With the news that commercial media enterprises, such as television networks and newspapers, would be paid to carry advertisements for both the “no” and “yes” – the newspaper empire of Fairfax has had to round up all their gay employees and just flat out tell them that they will be cashing in on the homophobic dollar over the next few months, as the plebiscite looms closer.

Speaking to the company’s LGBTIQ employees this morning, Fairfax sales director Nick Maloush warned them all that this next ad campaign might sting a little, but ultimately the clean government cash meant more than their human rights.

“Look, you guys… Um.. Sorry… You people know we are more of a campaign agency now anyway,” he said.

“And if the government is offering us money to run a few anti-gay marriage flyers. You know, we are gonna take the money,”

“This has nothing to do with you, its more about us clutching at straws to maintain a competitive edge over online newspapers who write about cats,”

Maloush points out that taking money from homophobic anti-gay marriage activists is really no different to the series of front pages they ran in support of lock-out laws.

“That coward punch stuff really worked for us. We are now selling ads based off our ability to change laws. That’s no different to this. Front pages are essentially ads in this game nowadays,”

“It’s just that this time we are taking money from Cory Bernardi and not [friends of] Mike Baird”

Local gay employee, Nick Bruce (26) says he’s not too concerned because there is a huge chance that print news will be dead by the time this campaign launches, and he’ll probably be working as a marketing director for an instagram agency in that time.

“Yeah, look. I know how to use social media. I know that there are options outside of print news”




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