ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Opposition leader Peter Dutton has told reporters in Canberra today that Islamophobia is back in fashion now that it’s been used successfully to win an election in the Netherlands, heralding a new direction for the Liberal National Coalition.

The successful businessman explained that Australians are a people who respond well to fear-based rhetoric and coupled with the ongoing and omnipresent cost-of-living crisis, he feels it could be a winning formula come 2025.

“What that lunatic has been able to achieve in Holland [sic] is nothing short of impressive,” explained Mr Dutton.

“What this means for Australians is that it proves that Islamophobia is back on the menu. Good old fashioned Islamophobia. It won Howard a number of elections, it could soon win one for me. While Australia certainly doesn’t have the same challenges as say Sweden or Germany have, we can certainly manufacture some with the help of our media partners at News Corp,”

“I saw the other day that the Prime Minister went to visit a mosque. Hmmmmm. He’s allowed to do what he wants but given the current climate, you won’t see me doing the same. You’ll see me at a nice church. One without the stupid guitars and tongue gibberish that my predecessor frequented. You know. You can actually do a lot with Islamophobia. Some Muslim bloke goes mad with a knife in Europe? The Coalition will keep you safe. Some fat migloo [sic] with an AR15 shoots up a Walmart in Ohio. Hmmmm. He was depressed and to make it even less of his responsibility, a woman recently rejected his advances. Tragic. It’s almost like he had no choice,”

“Just kidding there but you see how the political mechanism of Islamophobia works. People are so gullible. Like those chode yuppies that live in Sydney’s Eastern sections, sooking about a proposed new mosque in the Junction. My brother in Christ, there’s a mosque in Surry Hills. Go stand out the front of that with a scowl on your face. People aren’t afraid of Muslim Australians but we can make them.”

The Advocate reached out to Mr Dutton’s office for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here