23 August, 2016. 15:30

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Tension has arisen between two of the most quotable members of the Australian Government’s hard-right faction today, as former Prime Minister Tony Abbott vows to distance himself from the Federal Member for Dawson, George Christensen MP.

The split has arisen after Mr Abbott’s recent visit to the outskirts of Mackay, in what many political analysts are calling a pre-spill campaign aimed at encouraging Central Queensland’s conservative voters to get behind their local MP and the hard right faction to which they both belong.

While making a media appearance on a nearby broccoli farm, it appears Mr Abbott couldn’t help but make a ‘cheeky remark’ about how the produce resembled a circumcised penis, or as the former LNP  leader put it “a skivvy dick”.

This one-liner was met with chuckles from both the farmhands and media present, but the jovial atmosphere was quickly made uncomfortable by the hysterical, and effeminate, giggles from George Christensen MP.

“It was quite bizarre,” said one Abbott staffer.

“The big fella found it way too funny,”

“At first, we thought it was him trying to impress Tony, but then he went bright pink and it ramped up even more,”

“It honestly sounded like a high school girl watching Magic Mike…”

Members of the local media who were present say they aren’t sure whether it was the fact that Abbott was making a joke about the male genitals, or the fact that George Christensen has a long documented history of spruiking anti-semitic propaganda – but either way, they all say that they now can understand why Mr Abbott is now distancing himself from the Member For Dawson.

Mackay Hot Hits Radio 97.4 brekky announcer, Nathan Hosemans says Christensen made a real a dick of himself.

“You can’t laugh for that long at a penis joke,” he said.

“Either he’s a closeted homosexual, or he still harbours anti-semitic views. Either way, he’s cooked it”

With Tony Abbott refusing to comment on the incident, it is not yet known if this controversy will result in further factions within the Liberal Party.

If the hard-right faction of the LNP does, in fact, become two new factions, Channel Nine political analyst Laurie Oakes says it was hard to tell which faction is going to be the most right-leaning.

“It comes down to the rotund Mackay Islamophobe who refuses to believe transgender people exist or the hairy bloke from North Shore Sydney who refuses to believe his own sister exists,” said Oakes.

“Either way, this circumcised-penis-joke has been very revealing of both characters.”


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