Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the middle of her five week campaign towards a shock election, Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has today promised the most vocal anti-Adani protestors that she will sort them all out with a high-paying unskilled labouring job in the mines if they can get over the man-made bleaching of the Great Barrier Reef. "Don't knock it til you try...

SAM DAVIS | Government | Contact Late this afternoon, the Prime Minister was seen standing like Liam Gallagher does when he sings at the end of a Sydney jetty as he looked toward the sky. "Why God," said Malcolm Turnbull. "Why have you done this to me? What have I done to deserve this shabby treatment? I've ticked all the boxes. I...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Immigration and Border Protection Minister Peter Dutton said the Coalition Government has arranged shelter and other services in the middle of a third-world pacific island community that he wouldn't even visit without an armed security detail. Hundreds of refugees inside the Manus Island detention centre are determined to stay, despite power, water and food supplies being cut off,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The National Party of Australia announced this morning that they've released Tony Windsor without harm following his suspected abduction on yesterday morning. Just after lunch on Friday, the former parliamentarian was rushed as he left a popular Tamworth cafe and forced at knifepoint into the boot of a waiting HSV Statesman. Bound, gagged and hooded, Mr...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recently self-appointed Minister for Agriculture, the Honourable Malcolm Turnbull MP, has this morning rocked up to his first day on the job wearing a panama hat thats costs more than most Australians would spend on their first car. Appointed on 27 October 2017, The Prime Minister now holds the badge of Minister for Agriculture and Water Resources, and is assisted by Senator the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The High Court of Australia has found empirical evidence that disqualifies One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts from sitting in parliament. Roberts joins a list of five federal politicans that have been ousted from parliament today, which include the likes of the DPM Barnaby Joyce, The Greens Scott Ludlum and Larissa Waters and Fiona Nash of The...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In the wake of the viral #metoo hashtag, out of touch men worldwide have gained some minor understanding of the sexist underbelly pinned beneath our patriarchal society. Perhaps most surprising is retired cabbie Alistair Coote (72) who has now started caring about sexual assault upon realising the perpetrators are sometimes immigrants. “They shouldn’t be allowed to do that!...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Suck shit Christo" roared the Deputy Prime Minister, as he massaged his wide-set neck. "That's what happens when you spend your life behind a desk" The cheering continues in the background as Barnaby Joyce does a celebratory rnb-style dance move mimicking a wave with his arms. He's just taken home the National Party annual goanna pull trophy - for...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 55-year-old who spent a big part of the eighties looking for gay men to bash at local parks says he was almost considering lending his vote to marriage equality, until 'these people' tried to make him feel a certain way. Bradley, a prominent football manager at his medium-sized coastal hometown, says his past behaviour of going poofter bashing...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An amazing new clinic in the outskirts of the Australian Capital Territory has been recognised for it's world-renowned programs aimed at reintroducing Canberra residents to a life outside their circular inland public service-reliant city. Species reintroduction is the deliberate release of a species into the wild, from captivity or other areas where the organism survives - and has until now never...