Breaking News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Far-right members of the Coalition have today criticised former Prime Minister Tony Abbott for missing a series of pivotal moments during his leadership because he was drunk and passed out on a couch. After years of rumours, Mr Abbott has finally admitted he was asleep after a long night of drinking when his successor Malcolm Turnbull massacred him...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the AHBA (Australian Home Bars Association) has found that the popular late nineties novelty gift 'Big Mouth Billy Bass' is still fucking funny, even if you've seen it before. Big Mouth Billy Bass is an animatronic singing prop, representing a largemouth bass, invented on December 16, 1998, sold on January 1, 1999, and popular in the early 2000s. The fish...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With one day left to register for the electoral commission, over 1300 companies have confirmed support marriage equality - including all the banks, all the airlines, sporting codes and some Australia's largest retailers - it seems big business are the least concerned about the ramifications of allowing gay people to tie the knot. Aside from an online community of 'free...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian comedian turned serious actor, Aaron Gocs will lead an extraordinary ensemble cast for Channel 10’s contemporary re-imagining of Australian literary and film classic, Candy. Gocs, who came to fame in 2015 through the combination of a viral comedy career and several sold-out stand up tours, has today confirmed in an interview with The Age that he will playing the iconic...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian pre-internet entrepreneur Dick Smith has this week revealed that his definitely still rich enough to not be ignored. The multiple home-owning North Shore blueblood says that as he grows older, he is finding it harder to find ways to deal with his misplaced nostalgia. "I blame immigrants" he says. "Roseville used to look much different in the 50s. Now there's...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A traumatized Tamworth merino whether has finally been able to reconcile with years of mistreatment at the hands of a certain agricultural worker in the region. The three-year-old is ruminant mammal has spent his life living between the Liverpool Plains and Walcha but predominantly in the Tamworth area. He says the recent news about sheep shagging in the New England...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local regular at the Lord Kidman hotel has already insinuated that he will be pulling up stumps soon, as he apparently has to do stuff tomorrow with people who aren't currently at the pub with him. The 29-year-old by the name Dan, mentioned something to do with IKEA, or maybe his in-laws, before being heavily questioned over what...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After 47-years in the making, the metrication of Australia has been officially completed today, as Australian drug dealers finally make the transition from the Imperial system. As of Melbourne cup this year, Australian drug dealers will no longer use measurements such as ounce, half ounce, quarter ounce to unitise marijuana, cocaine and amphetamines. Before 1970, Australia mostly used the imperial system for...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local bus driver, Morgan Turinui (45) is waiting until his most recent passenger is no longer holding onto anything before he puts the pedal to the metal, it has been confirmed. As is protocol in suburban public transport, bus drivers are required to begin driving before passengers are able to place their entire body weight into a seat. Local commuter, Glenn,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A health fanatic from Betoota's Northside has today proven just how much he cares about what goes into his body, by not using the first straw currently sitting in the straw dispenser at McDonalds. "You never know what's on it" the health concious local by the name of Declan says to The Betoota Advocate. "I don't want germs going into...