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Far-right members of the Coalition have today criticised former Prime Minister Tony Abbott for missing a series of pivotal moments during his leadership because he was drunk and passed out on a couch.
After years of rumours, Mr Abbott has finally admitted he was asleep after a long night of drinking when his successor Malcolm Turnbull massacred him in the second libspill in his time as Prime Minister.
Mr Turnbull, who was Communications Minister at the time and had been given the wildly unpopular job of slashing the ABC and installing a very low quality NBN across the country, said he had been aware of Mr Abbott’s booze-induced slumber and that his fellow religious colleagues had “tried to rouse him to get him to stop me but were unable to move him”.
“It was a pretty important for his career, too … I’m sure he was disappointed but you’ve got to move on with these things,” Mr Turnbull told Melbourne radio station 3AW on Friday.
“Come to think of it, he might have been drunk his whole time in the job – not just on the power, but whatever type of wine that upper middle class North Shore sexists drink”
This follows the news that Abbott has admitted to drinking too much and sleeping through several votes in federal parliament in 2009. During an interview with Annabel Crabb in an upcoming episode of the ABC series The House, Abbott says he “lay down and next thing I knew it was morning”
However, close Abbott allies in the Coalition have suggested that the former Prime Minister could use this whole drinking thing to explain and excuse some of his more notable gaffes.
“Just say you were drunk when you told those Aussie troops that “shit happens” after their mates was killed at war” says Tasmanian Senator Eric Abetz.
“Or when you winked when that lady said she was working on a sex line because you cut her pension” said Dutton.
“Or when you munged into a raw onion, twice on live television” said another no-name backbencher.
“Or when you tried to knight that 90-year-old British bloke instead of Richie Benaud six months before he died”