Nations Girlfriends Looking Forward To Another Two Months Of White Noise On TV
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
The nation’s girlfriends have confirmed today how excited they are to about their media consumption over the next two months.
With their respective TVs...
Turbo Civic Blows Away XR6 That Didn’t Know They Were Racing
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
In a brutal reminder of the importance of always paying attention when behind the wheel, a lightly modified BA Falcon XR6 copped...
Sunkissed Drunk Has Low-Carb Third Snag After Bread Runs Out
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With warm weather temperatures reaching ‘fuck-I-can’t-sleep-walk-or-shit’ levels, an amazing backyard BBQ is taking place in Betoota’s French Quarter.
Taking the excuse to have a...
La-De-Da Cousins Have Water Dispenser In Fridge
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
A Betoota Heights couple has been forced to have a difficult conversation today, after a quick catch up with the cousins has resulted...
Nan’s UNO Victory Foiled By Hypercompetitive Adult Grandson Calling Her Out For Not Saying UNO
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Like many families, the Bulstrodes of Betoota Heights prefers the family card game UNO to relationship ruining games like RISK or ones that...
The Rest Of Australia Tells Sydney’s Northern Beaches To Keep That Fucking Bridge Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Sydney's iconic spit bridge will be staying upright for the foreseeable future, until the Northern Beaches outbreak can be contained.
The Spit Bridge,...
Aussie Film Industry Secures Major Coup With Next Jurassic Park To Be Filmed In Sky News Studio
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Australian Film Industry has had a huge win today after it was revealed that the next film in the Jurassic Park series...
Chinese Trade War Results In Critical Shortage Of Single-Use Power Tools
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The fallout from our blue with China has reached a new low today, with Bunnings revealing that they are now facing critical shortages...
Officeworks Really Doing Their Best To Spoil The Remaining School Holidays
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
While still continuing until the tail end of January, school holidays have been cut short once again thanks to Officeworks's perpetually premature ‘Back...
“I Don’t Really Burn,” Says Local Moron About To Be Burnt
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Despite claims that his 'olive skin' tans and doesn't burn, a local moron is determined to prove himself right this afternoon, refusing the...
