A traumatized Tamworth merino whether has finally been able to reconcile with years of mistreatment at the hands of a certain agricultural worker in the region.

The three-year-old is ruminant mammal has spent his life living between the Liverpool Plains and Walcha but predominantly in the Tamworth area.

He says the recent news about sheep shagging in the New England electorate has really answered a lot of questions for him, and several of his friends.

“It’s just. I could never understand” says the victim, John* (name changed).

“I just could never understand [the attacker’s] interest in me”

“But now, after the news. It all makes sense”

“He was a Kiwi hiding in plain sight”

After today’s news, prominent sheep activists have called for a Royal Commission into Agricultural Responses to Sheep Abuse At The Hands Of New Zealanders – citing that the issue is something that has literally gone straight to the top.

These calls comes after photos have emerged of the former Tamworth accountant drinking long necks of New Zealand lager in a Far-South Brisbane bikie pub.

Witnesses say Barnaby was seen ordering a “bux of flaggins for his bros” before saying saying “churr” and asking the bartender how the Crusaders were looking this year.




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