In a stunning turn of events, ISIS have come out and pledged to reduce carbon emissions by the year 2020, leaving the United States as the only country not committed to helping reduce the risks of environmental catastrophe.

“The goal of reducing the human impact of climate change is one which is deeply close to our hearts”, said one top official. “Obviously, our main goal is world domination. But there needs to be a world left in order to dominate it” said a spokesperson.

“We will be ensuring that, by 2020, all our arms are organic, all our chemical weaponry is non-GMO, and that we move to a sustainable dirty bomb model”.

The Paris Agreement (French: Accord de Paris), Paris climate accord or Paris climate agreement, is an agreement within the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) dealing with greenhouse gas emissions mitigation, adaptation and finance starting in the year 2020. The language of the agreement was negotiated by representatives of 196 parties at the 21st Conference of the Parties of the UNFCCC in Paris and adopted by consensus on 12 December 2015

It is believed that the caliphate has already begun replacing their fleet of Toyota four wheel drives with more sustainable vehicles, including the Prius and an assortment of Tesla’s.

The move sparked a series of fiery tweets from US President Donald Trump, in which he pledged to increase emissions to defeat ISIS.

“We will not let these lunatics destroy the world”, said Mr. Trump. “We’ll beat them to it #America”


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