Betoota Hills resident, Samantha Keary has read every single Australian bridal magazine that has been printed in the last 18 months.

As a self-confessed bridezilla, she knows two things. One, her dress is costing more than the venue – and two, she needs a hashtag.

‘Wedding Hashtags’ are a relatively new phenomenon in modern Australian marriage ceremonies. While many newlyweds argue the hashtag is used to help them curate and archive all photos posted to social media by their guests – it is often misinterpreted as a bride’s opportunity to show off how beautiful her wedding was to a greater digital circle than her own

Unfortunately for Samantha, her husband-to-be, Todd, is of Sri Lankan heritage, meaning their hashtag is probably not going to take off.

Officially known as the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka, the Island nation that Todd’s family originate from is situated just off south-east India. Sri Lanka has maritime borders with India to the northwest and the Maldives to the south-west – it is well known for its fucking long last names.

While Samantha toyed with #MeetTheWasalamudiyanses – she just isn’t confident that her slow-speaking relatives from Townsville will be able to get their head around the phonetics.

She also thought about placing notes at each table setting with #Todd&SamanthaGetMarried – but that was also too long, and Instagram doesn’t let you use non-numerical and letter characters.

“This is fucked” she says, only eight months out from the final day.

“Everything is ruined. Why couldn’t they just anglicise their fucking name like my family did when they got here”

While Todd is treading very lightly on this seemingly pointless issue, he says there is not a chance in frozen hell that he will be taking Samantha’s last name to avoid this issue.

“That seems like a pretty dramatic resolution” he says.

“I think I might lie and tell her about some spooky Sri Lankan ritual that means the only people who can take photos at Weddings is the fucking stoner I’m paying five grand to do it anyway”


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