Melbourne-based Quiet Australian, Bronwyn Cash (48) has today had enough with her state government, and demanded Labor explain to her what this so-called spinal cord is.

According to thousands of years of medical science, the spinal cord is a long, thin, tubular structure made up of nervous tissue, which extends from a human’s medulla oblongata in the brainstem to the lumbar region of the vertebral column.

When the spinal cord is compromised, people can suffer a loss of functional mobility or feeling. Spinal damage an extremely serious type of physical trauma that’s likely to have a lasting and significant impact on most humans.

But Bronwyn isn’t convinced.

“I dunno if I trust these so-called experts anymore” says Bronwyn.

“From what I’ve been reading in the Herald Sun and watching on Sky News, there’s a lot of evidence pointing to the fact that the spinal cord is a Labor myth, and the mainstream media is just gobbling it up like sheep.”

This comes as a growing mob of Liberal MPs begin calling on Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews provide more information about his injury, in a desperate attempt to get some headlines after a year of backseat driving that saw them descend into undermining public health measures just to feel important.

Mr Andrews suffered broken ribs and spinal damage after falling on wet stairs while staying at a holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula on March 9, he has been largely immobile since the accident, which is what happens when some fucks their back up.

Today, the state’s shadow treasurer Louise Staley issued a statement demanding the premier answer questions about the fall and his continued salary while on sick leave, and whether or not he was pocketed all of his tax-payer funded pay cheque like their Federal contemporaries do every time a rape allegation pops up and they have to hit the black dog button so they can hide out from the news cycle.

Bronwyn agrees with these low-rent political conspiracy mongering.

“It would not surprise me if Labor have made this whole spinal cord thing up, just so they can keep ordering public health measures aimed at preventing even more pensioners from dying in Federally operated aged care homes”

“What are you hiding from us, Dan?”


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