ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Grove father-of-four has been left to his own devices this morning, something that the sexagenarian relishes and enjoys.

Colin Dollarhyde is using the lack of spousal supervision to his advantage, he says, by sitting himself down on his new Koala lounge in front of the ‘idiot box’.

In particular, SBS Food.

Speaking a short time ago to The Advocate via telephone, the surprisingly virile Gemini said he somehow always ends up enjoying food channels more than others.

“I enjoy watching Nigella,” he said.

“It is much easier to watch than the others. Rick Stein is OK but he looks ill. Bourdain is always great but it makes me sad now. Don’t get me started on Jamie Oliver. Honest to Christ, he must live in an alternate universe where things take a quarter of the time to do as they do in our dimension,”

“I respect Gordon Ramsey; because I think he’d be able to fuck me up if we ever got into a fight. But yes. Nigella is my favourite. Do you need me to spell it out for you? I don’t think so.”

However, Dollarhyde said he can only enjoy these shows unsupervised.

He told our reporter that his wife and kids often ‘give him stick’ for enjoying Nigella’s shows as much as he does.

Late last year, Colin said he was caught watching Nigella’s Christmas Special by his wife and eldest daughter, who both rolled their eyes at him and called him a ‘creepy old man’.

“That’s the thanks you get for putting a roof over their head, putting them through two private schools because of their upper-middle-class problems with authority. Putting them through a ceramics course at the tech college because that’s their passion. Sometimes I wish I voted for Kim Beazley so I’d be poor now. Oh well.”

More to come.


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