In a press conference on parliament hill, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today announced that the nation’s capital territory must mourn for 30 days out of respect for the passing of its most iconic landmark, Academy.

For the past 15 years the nightclub has been a staple in the routine of weeknight and weekend revelers alike, not discriminating against age either with anyone aged 15-40 welcome to stumble through the doors.

“This news has no doubt shaken the capital to its core.” he said.

“There isn’t one politician here who can honestly say they haven’t been through those doors or peeled their feet off the floor of what is, or rather was, the greatest nightclub in Australia” said Malcolm.

“It’s where Barnaby and Vikki first became a thing, It’s where Tony had his first Double Black… and even I, back in my earlier years, experienced the infamous lift ride.”

“Nothing can replace the memories made, or lost [haha]. at Academy, but we can show our respects to this irreplaceable establishment. As of now, I am imposing a month-long state of mourning, effective immediately.”

The Advocate understands that the PM has made it compulsory for all politicians to wear a black arm band and be stamped on the wrist as they enter parliament. It’s also understood that a social media campaign is gathering momentum under the hashtag #BlacksOutForAcademy, where people place a Double Black at their front door and share their last memory of Academy.



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