21 September, 2016. 15:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

ONE HIS FIRST DAY producing a drive slot radio show, Arthur Collator decided to wear a waistcoat.

It was a mistake he wouldn’t make again.

“This ex-footballer, I can’t remember his name, just laughed at me and slapped me on the back,” said the 26-year-old communications graduate. “He said, ‘Mate, take that fucking thing off a throw it out the window. Just get rid of it. They’ll eat you alive up here.”

That ex-footballer was Gordon Tallis.

Fielding calls from bogans is the highlight of his afternoons. PHOTO: Supplied.

Putting him under his arm, Tallis guided Arthur through the maze of cubicles and content writers to a waiting window. The great Queenslander cracked the window open, some 14 stories above the footpath below.

“Let it go, mate. Throw that fucking thing onto George Street and forget about it,” said Tallis. “Atta boy, you’ll do just fine. Who’s your team, mate?”

Arthur said he then got a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach. Though his obvious undiagnosed autism led him to wear a waistcoat in public, him not having a rugby league team in a male-dominated workplace could spell disaster.

“The problem is, I hate rugby league. I think it’s dumb. Cricket is worse, I guess you could say that I don’t really like sports in general. All that macho bravado bullshit never stuck with me, how I ended up in commercial radio, I’ll never know.” he said.

Ever since, the amateur thespian has been forced to keep that secret to himself.

“Look, I’ve got nothing against any of them. Except for Gus. If he tells me that he’s best mates with Hugh Jackman one more time, I’ll headbutt him. Andrew [Johns] is pleasant enough. I’ve had to sign a few ‘stat decs’ for him so he wouldn’t lose his licence. MG is OK, I guess. His handshakes are really firm, like my stepdad’s. I hate my stepdad, though.”

More to come.


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