In roughly four hours, the resident’s of Sydney’s iconic gay district will be leaving their workplaces with a little extra spring in their step.

Business owners and local councillors are flat out at this moment battening down windows and setting up hydration tents as a swarm of jovial homosexuals are expected to be pulling in to their iconic nightlife strip’s gay venues.

“Hurry up!” screams one council worker, while drilling a timber board over a convenience store shopfront.

“They are coming!”

This comes after the statement released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics earlier this morning that indicated that the people of Australia have voted in favour of changing the law to allow same-sex marriage.

Australian Statistician David Kalisch announced the results of the ABS postal survey from Canberra, confirming the survey had delivered a Yes result. Of 12.7 million votes, 61 per cent were returned in favour of same-sex marriage.

The final participation rate accounted for 79.5 per cent of eligible voters, most of whom decided that gays should be able to get married and who gives a fuck.

Local Darlinghurst corporate tax lawyer, Andrew, says he will be absolutely tying one on tonight… and try stop him.

“Ooooh yeah. Better result than we expected” he says.

“I think having your existence validated by a landslide majority is a pretty good reason to tip a few, surely.”

“Doesn’t matter too much though, the riot squad will send us home at midnight on the dot – it is Sydney remember!”

“Kick ons art mine”


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