ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Top End will open their borders to the rat people of Sydney in four weeks time if they’re able to stop coughing on each other down there.

Right now, people from the nation’s most overrated hell hole are required to do two weeks quarantine in a hotel, at their expense, should they feel the need to come to the Territory.

But the NT Tourism industry needs a cash injection, says the NT Chief Minister Michael Gunner.

“And now that the election is over, Sydney is no longer a danger to us,” he said.

“Being soft on our border wasn’t going to get me over the line – and it went down to the wire, it did. So I’m glad I kept the bastard shut until after,”

“Anyway, it’s all done now so come up and have a look. Come in October or November, before it gets too muggy up here. Most of you would melt up here in the wet. How good. Well, righto. You know what to do now Sydney. Stop touching things then put your fingers in your mouth, fuck ya.”

More to come.


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