Single people living alone in Victoria are growing more toey by the minute as the countdown begins for the single social bubble.

From Monday September14, people living alone and single-parent households will be able to nominate one other person as a visitor.

Premier Daniel Andrews says one of the first lockdown restrictions to be eased up is the isolation of those not in committed relationships, and are seeking company after nearly 5 weeks of solitary lock down.

Local single Melanie Cho (31, Brunswick) has today begun the disappointing ring around, where she is informing her single friends and single mother that she will not be choosing any them as her designated visitor.

Melanie has opted to go with her old personal trainer, Boyd, who is recently single – and has been DMing her.

“Mum was pretty disappointed” she says.

“But, I think she understands. My girlfriends do too.”

“As much as they miss seeing me”

As Melanie points out, right now, the number one priority is getting some pipe. Which is why she has decided to invite the dumbest man within a five kilometre radius over for drinks next Monday.

“It’s not like I would honestly choose him as my first port of call if he didn’t have a dick” she says.

“He’s got fuck all between the ears. But he does have nice arms and some abs”

“Dan says maybe if cases keep dropping we can bring entire households into our social bubbles in October.”

“So maybe I’ll see mum then”


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