A Friday night staff mixer has reportedly taken a very sad turn tonight, after several eyewitnesses reported someone accidentally name-dropping the guy that was fired last week.The drinks mixer, held at the bar next to the office to celebrate another strong week of everyone pretending to do work but actually playing Candy Crush in the bathroom, was reportedly going very well at first, with reports emerging that there were many hilarious and endearing conversations going on across the bar.

“It started off really fun”, said Mandy Smith, a 34 year old Marketing director and National-level Pinot Grigio drinker. “We were all having a laugh, Gary from Accounting was doing his Rajesh from Engineering impression, it was really just a blast”

“We even had nibbles going around, which was amazing, because I’ve always said that no staff drinks is complete without nibbles and snacks that one person ends up having 75% of”

It was all to come crashing down, however, after eyewitnesses reported one staff member accidentally mentioning Dennis, the highly popular and slightly unhinged Sales Executive who was let go last week for ‘behavioural issues’.

“As soon as someone mentioned Dennis, it was like all of the air left the room. And it wasn’t because Dennis was there doing one of his classic ‘fart’ bits”

“Dennis was everyone’s favourite – the life of the party. I remember one time, he got so drunk that he actually jumped onto the Managing Director’s car and started pissing on it yelling “manage this!!!”. I can still picture it like it was yesterday, even though it was a whole week ago! I still can’t believe he’s gone”

The sudden change in mood reportedly affected everyone at the mixer, and gradually turned into several co-workers reminiscing about their one time colleague and life-long friend.

“Dennis was just the nicest guy”, said Todd, an unpaid intern who’s just happy to be invited to this thing. “Every time he saw me, he’d make some joke about how young I am or how much I love sucking dick. Just the friendliest guy around”

“It’s really his wife and kids I feel for. It must be an incredibly difficult time for them, having to all of a sudden deal with things like strained finances and his entire personality. It’s just such a tragedy”

While the mood undoubtedly shifted for the worse, many are hopeful that, with time, they can move on from mourning Dennis to celebrating his work at the company.

“It’s what Dennis would have wanted”, said Mandy, after downing her 14th Pinot Grig’ and loudly suggesting that they should all go to Korean karaoke tonight.


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