A recent report by the CSIRO has found that the height of one-off, situational drunken comedy comes from shoulder charging a friend into a manicured bush.

Lead researcher, Professor Paul Vautin says anyone who has witnessed this happen would agree that it is a serious pissa.

“Of the 1800 subjects we interviewed and monitored, we have found that 97% of young Australian men and women can recall laughing their ring off after seeing a friend recklessly bumped into garden outside an RSL or local tavern”

“The female respondents pointed out that seeing two skinny legs with high heels pointing upwards is even fucking funnier”

While the perfectly trimmed gardens outside RSLs and Leagues Clubs have been identified as the ideal form of shrubbery for this sort of horseplay, the study has also found that racecourses and house parties are also prime opportunities for shoving a mate into plant life, and hoping they don’t get fucked up by the pointy branches within.

“The cut off age for this behaviour is usually mid-forties” said the researcher.

“When you get to about 46, that’s when people stop laughing at you falling over… for fear of a broken rib or something that nature”

“However, it is completely okay to push people of that age into pools or open water. Providing their phone isn’t in their pocket”



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