With less than 8% of the Australian population jabbed up, the largely still vulnerable Australian public can’t help but make a face a wonder how long ago this would have all been sorted out if the CWA was put in charge of the jab roll-out. 

Established in August of 1922, the Country Women’s Association is Australia’s largest women’s organisation with 44,000 members across 1855 branches dedicated to the education, health and wellbeing of regional women & children.

In almost 100 years of operation the self-funded organisation has set up educational scholarships, taught old folks how to use computers and invested a Large Hadron Collider’s worth of research into perfecting the scone. 

“When my family first immigrated to Australia, it was the CWA who supported my mum and helped her with English,” stated unvaccinated youth Hadiya Kaur. 

“I once saw a few of them bake a thousand scones with one rolling pin in a crappy oven with one broken shelf and they never whinged once.” 

“When they ran out of butter I remember Norma even went out to the paddock, milked a cow and churned a fresh batch there on the spot.”

“If they were in charge of getting us all vaccinated we’d all be out wearing hand-knitted jumpers by now.” 

Kaur is not the only person who wishes the federal government had asked the CWA to trade their sewing needles for Pfizer needles, head of the Betoota chapter of the QLD CWA Norma Binns, reckons they would have finished the job months ago.

“I’d get Madalina on the phone with the Italians and say ‘you’re not getting any of our jabs mate,’ and every site would have a colouring-in competition while you wait,” stated the matriarch in a spontaneous roll-out plan that involved zero prompting from our reporting team.

“It would also be free, you’d just have to bring a plate.”  

“And there would be none of this putting their stickers all on the fence as they leave, I just had that painted last year, I don’t want to see youse putting those stickers on my fence.” 


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