The Turnbull Government’s Minister for Finance has today shown signs of being at least partly-cyborg, after a red robotic laser emerged out of his left eye while excitedly announcing drug tests for welfare dependents and longer wait times for migrant seeking government support.

Senator Mathias Cormann says he and fellow Reaganist Scott Morrison are refusing to abandon its controversial plans to introduce a drug testing trial for welfare recipients.

The extended waiting time will apply to paid parental leave, the Carers Allowance and the Family Tax Benefit.

Senator Cormann today said the government would continue to push for the drug testing, which originally was due to begin in locations in New South Wales, Western Australia and Queensland in January.

“We remain committed to it and we continue to work with all non-government senators in order to a secure majority for a very, very important welfare measure,” he told reporters in Canberra in his broad central European accent., as the red laser in his left eye begin twitching.

Cormann was also excited to announced that migrants who arrive in Australia from July next year will have to wait three years before they can access certain welfare payments, extending the current two-year waiting period.

The government estimates the measure will save $1.2 billion over the next four years, roughly the same amount of money as Glencore avoided paying in tax last financial year.



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