Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have married at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle overnight, in a ceremony watched by 600 guests — and millions of people on TV worldwide — the pair vowed to love, comfort, honour and protect each other.

While the greater Royal Family now must learn to live alongside a new princess who has actually worked for a living, It appears that Prince Harry has always had a penchant for the commoners, as was indicated by his friends that were joining him at the bridal table.

The most off-brand friend, an old army mate named Wazza, shocked the entire British establishment during his impromptu speech at the reception, about getting fucked up at Ibiza with the Duke of Sussex back in 2010.

“Now, I know I’m not meant to be up here. But, seriously fuck. Before he takes off into the distance with his princess I think you should all know a little something about our little Harry” said a visibly drunk Wazza, who wasn’t scheduled to speak at all.

“Now we were down at this club called Amnesia or something, and there was this bloke who reckoned he could do a half back flip and land on ‘is ‘ead – he was willing to put money on it”

It was at this point during Wazza’s speech that Prince Harry stopped laughing, and his grandfather Prince Philip was seen whispering into the ear of an officer from Scotland Yard.

Wazza’s story, which highlighted the rampant amphetamines culture within the Spanish Isles, and the lack of unaccountability for British tourists who treat the place like an adult them park, ended quite quickly red a red laser point started floating across his chest.

“Anyway” said Wazza.

“That’s it from me! Enjoy your night everyone”


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