LOUIS BURKE| Culture | CONTACT
After two years of intense investigation, police are no closer to determining the whereabouts of your missing Dove chocolate or what happened to Dove chocolate entirely.
Dove chocolate was last seen on the indoor shelf of your fridge after you picked through your favourite treats in a box of Celebrations someone who didn’t know you very well gifted you as part of an office Kris Kringle.
Not wanting the heat to melt the chocolates, they were placed in the fridge and mysteriously disappeared with the Bounty bar that was also on the scene unavailable to comment on what happened.
The lone event triggered the wider search for Dove chocolate which has since been increasingly hard to locate, which much like the internet dial-up sound and comedian Mike Myers, appears to have slipped away unnoticed in the early noughties.
Head of the investigation Sergeant Steve Stevenson urges anyone with information about Dove Chocolate’s whereabouts to come forward immediately.
“While we will bring your chocolate in for forensic testing we promise you will get your chocolate back, minus a small portion that we’ll sample just to check it’s not poisonous.”
With interest in the case fading due to the wide selection of chocolate available and the fact Dove was never anyone’s favourite chocolate to begin with, it is looking likely that the case will remain unsolved.