It seems that Sky News Australia’s Chief Goebbels Paul Murray may not understand the very concept of punting, despite his best efforts to present himself as an everyday bloke who doesn’t spend his evenings drinking cognac and smoking cigars in North Shore restaurants.

However, this was already common knowledge to anyone who may have had the great displeasure of walking into the living room while their grandparents are being handfed state propaganda by a whingeing Sydney toff who lives to serve the corporate welfare frauds like Gerry Harvey that advertise on his programme.

This comes after the Aldi Alan Jones actually did the math and realised his ‘Each-way Albo’ nickname actually implies that the Opposition leader might perform better than Scotty From Marketing.

While mid-way through one of his heavy-breathing rants about how a Morrison election defeat will turn Australia into a transgender utopia of deep-state pedophiles who don’t respect the police, the husky class-traitor found himself in a state of panic.

“You see the thing with each-way Albo is… That he wants to hedge his bets between both the left and the right wing… Which us normal Aussies know means that… Wait”

“Wait it means if gets it right, he only gets it 50% right”

“Which is way worse than Scott Mor…”

“Wait fuck”


In the world of racing, an each-way bet consists of two bets of equal cost, a win bet on your selection to win an event and a place bet on it to finish within a certain number of places specified by the bookmaker beforehand.

This type of bet gives a punter safer odds than backing the favourite on the nose – given you are much more likely to get a return on your bet.

Even if the favourite has been tipped by Rupert Murdoch’s blatantly biased news monopoly that owns 70% of the Australian media landscape

While the nickname of ‘each way Albo’ initially appeared to be a clever way of questioning the Opposition leader’s ability to lead the nation, it now looks like a much safer bet than the current government.

Scotty’s performance on jab roll-outs, RAT roll-outs, military spending, disaster recovery, women’s safety – and controlling his own party – has left even the most Sky News-brain voters questioning if an each-way bet might actually provide them with better odds than loading up on a Pentecostal blame-shifter who believes the Universe was invented two thousand years ago by a long-haired white boy who was cruising around the middle east with two dads.

More to come.


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