KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A guilty lapsed Catholic has decided to break lent this afternoon, polishing off an entire football-sized creme egg in a supermarket car park.
Sitting in the driver’s seat of his silver Kia Sorrento, The Advocate understands 36-year-old Darrell Lea has treated himself to a headstart on Easter after a very stressful grocery shop.
Shocked to learn the recent hike in grocery prices has surged his weekly shopping bill upwards of $200, Lea admitted to our reporter that he couldn’t quite resist the purchase of a novelty chocolate gift box upon approaching the supermarket conveyor belt.
“They were just there, stacked 20 boxes high next to all the hot cross buns!” said Mr Lea.
“I figured I had to do my Easter shop at some point so I just threw in a few boxes and a 6-pack of rocky road hot cross buns for good measure.”
“Those bakers at Woolies are just so creative these days!”
Speaking to our reporter in between fits of sugar-induced eyebrow twitching, Mr Lea said the stressful shopping experience and weeks of grim weather had inspired him to throw caution to the wind and indulge in an early Easter treat.
“People always talk up Christmas, but I’ve always been more of an Easter long weekend kinda man myself.”
“It’s four days of bliss, sitting on your ass, flicking through your phone watching all the idiots who decided to go camping in the rain…”
“Put on a few movies in between naps and the odd brick of chocolate, what could be better?”
Asked if he planned on finishing off the 10 mini-creme eggs that accompany the novelty monster, Mr Lea told our reporter that making your way through a whole gift box was a team effort.
“Mate, you can have one if ya want?”
“Actually I’ll give you a lift back to the office, just unwrap a few at the next set of lights for me will ya, I always get a bit of foil stuck in my teeth if I’m multitasking”.