EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANECONTACT

Julie Swinden has been on the sauce lately and has decided to let her hair down a little this silly season.

Speaking in hushed tones, the hungover mum conspired with her youngest to pull a cracker before the lunch on the big day.

She reckons nobody will notice if one of the fifty crackers placed in the overstuffed Christmas tree goes missing and to be honest.

“Haha let’s do it”, whispers Julie.

“We’ll only do one.”

Julie’s son, named Nick, had a few doubts about pulling the cracker.

But after some coaxing from mum the 8 year old decided it was alright to have a cheeky pull.

“Oh go on, have a candy cane too,” says Julie.

Rather than pick one of the many hanging on a nearby branch, Nick submerges his arm into the Christmas tree and hands his mum an Aldi ‘Kristmas Kracker.’

“Ready.”

“One”

“Twooooo”

“THREE.”

Unfortunately, the expected crack is nowhere to be heard, and Nick ends up holding the partially broken cracker like it’s a dead budgie.

Nick attempts to rip open the limp cardboard and fish around for a gift, where he finds a paper crown and what appears to be a slightly chewed pen cap.

More to come.

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