INGRID DOULTON | Health | Contact
A little-known local multivitamin and complementary medicine manufacturer based out of South Betoota is looking to corner a very niche market with their new product – slated to be released just in time for the winter music calendar.
HealthiSmiles, a subsidiary company of Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club Pty Ltd, has developed a special multivitamin aimed at dampening the effects of an ‘MDMA Comedown’ with the most powerful being marketed as ‘Tuesday Strength’ – for the nastiest low spot.
Speaking candidly to The Advocate about the groundbreaking and life-changing multivitamin, CEO of HealthiSmiles, Joh Borgman, said the testing period is almost over.
“We tested it the other week at The Killers in Brisbane and we both felt fantastic by Monday afternoon – just a few hours after we took them,” he said.
“Seriously but, I thought I was overdosing during Mr Brightside. Like, I was actually full on hallucinating. I’d had like four in the first hour and they hit me like a fucking freight-train, man,”
“Anyway, the next morning, I was the most scat human being on Earth. I have half a sheet of these multivitamins, a large butter chicken and a full-strength Coca-Cola and I was back to my best. Get on our IPO, Ingrid. We’re going to the moon.”
The multivitamin is slated to be the first hocus-pocus medication to be added to the PBS, however, the health minister failed to respond to The Advocate’s request for comment.
More to come.