11 Commonwealth Games athletes, missing since they failed to board their flights home after the event, have been found at a bus stop Miami, allegedly still trying to navigate the public transport system after a trip to Magic Mountain.

The group, from Rwanda, Uganda and Cameroon and other countries that are a bit difficult to be alive in, reportedly went on an afternoon excursion to the theme park on a recommendation from the cities Mayor Tom Tate, who was unaware that the attraction was turned into accomodation in 1991.

The discovery came after locals reported seeing a group of people that didn’t fit the local demographic hanging around a bus stop outside Flannery’s Organic & Wholefood Market on the Gold Coast Highway.

“We thought maybe they were vendors at the Miami Marketta” said one local, Stephanie Occhilupo. “But we thought it best to alert authorities. We were tired of having to cross the road each time we stocked up on activated buckinis. We thought it best they were moved on”.

The athletes have since said that they’ve just been waiting for a bus the whole time. “This is all very difficult” said one member of the group. “We assumed it would be quicker than walking, but we just can’t find our way back”.

Asked whether they had in fact tried to remain in Australia in an attempt to seek refuge from their home countries, the athletes laughed off the notion. “And come here?” said one. “Have you been to Cavill Avenue? Their might be a civil war back home, but there’s far less dickheads”. Another agreed, “Yep. Definitely more flops to dodge here than bullets back home. Plus i’m pretty sure i’m hooked on ice just sitting here”.


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