In an ironic twist of fate, a self described ‘cultured’ man from Melbourne that considers himself a bit above the rest in Sydney has found himself hopelessly lost on a trip to the harbour city.

Like many Melbourners, Isaac Foley (28) is accustomed to the artificial, man made, planned grid system of Melbourne’s streets, in fact, he takes pride in it for some reason.

“I’ve been to Europe dozens of times, I’m good at navigating new cities, I swear. The streets here are just too confusing, why all the turns? why so many hills?.”

Locals were seen chuckling at the lost man as he paced back and forth on his phone trying to figure out which street to actually go down.

“Yep he’s definitely from Melbourne. The best thing is they’re too smug to even ask a local for directions, they don’t even want to give us that small win.” One local said.

Isaacs issues began the moment he arrived in Sydney. 

While exiting the airport, which was suspiciously close and conveniently located to the CBD, Isaac descended into the train station to make his way to accommodation.

He was then confronted with a train that had two stories.

“What even is that thing? It’s a monster. Why do I need to walk up or down stairs once I get on the train? it’s really not disability friendly when you think about it. But this is Sydney after all.”

Once at central station things went from bad to worse for Isaac.

Leaving the busy train station, Isaac found that his brain simply could not connect the dots when the roads had a bend on them. Paralyzed from what can only be described as utter confusion, Isaac had no other choice but to text his friend that he was lost, in a huge blow to his ‘world traveler’, ‘urban explorer’ image.

While Isaac views himself as an eccentric person and lover of all things alternative, he does admit that Melbourne’s grid system is a model of order and symmetry that he can respect. 

“Some cities aren’t created equally, and while it might not be as romantic, a planned city is much easier than an organic city guided by first nations bush tracks and early settler horse paths”.


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