Standing in the male bathrooms of Betoota’s prestigious Royal Betoota Golf Club, James Beaumont (15), has bared witness to something that will send shockwaves through his conservative family – he’s just seen his older cousin, Jack, enter the toilet stall with another man.

Not usually one to snitch, but unable to keep his cousin’s newly discovered sexuality to himself, James ran back to his designated wedding table.

“Jack’s gay!” He blurted out.

Naturally, this comment was met with a number of quizzical and bemused looks, particularly from his other cousin, Tom.

“What d’you mean mate?” Asked Tom, coyly, pretty sure where James was going with this.

“I saw him go into the stall with another bloke! They’re both gay!”

Tom took it upon himself to then find Jack and tell him the jig was up.

It’s understood that Tom found Jack at the open bar ordering a round of vodka pineapples for himself and his ‘partner’.

”Better tone it down mate. Little James is telling everyone you’re gay [sic]” Tom sprayed his cousin with.

After the two of them laughed at their cousin’s naivety for a good 10 minutes, cousin Tom hit up Jack.

“So mate, give us that bag.”

The Advocate understands that the Beaumont family’s wedding went off without a hitch, and, if anything, Tom, Jack and Bruce were commended for their conversation skills.

More to come.


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