The brunch community is in crisis after a table of white dinners were banned from Saturday morning brunch at a French Quarter cafe for discussing a topic that was not Kanye West.

Witnesses claim the group of six Caucasians took their table at Stone & Stone cafe at approximately 11:30 am and were hardly two bites into their corn and zucchini fritters before they were asked to leave for failing to bring up Kanye West as a topic of discussion.

Statements from witnesses allege the ‘Brunch Six’ discussed their recent trip to Japan, what they would do if they were baby boomers, ABC TV shows from the ‘90s, future plans to travel to Japan and Childish Gambino but never once discussed the music or recent goings on of rapper Kanye West.

“Brunch is an inclusive environment for everyone but antisocial behaviour like this will simply not be tolerated,” said Matt Cialatte (34) manager of Stone & Stone cafe.

“We are a place for trendy white and or extremely rich Asian people to think they are cool while discussing Kanye West over food that looks better than it tastes. The Brunch Six are deviants and nothing more.”

According to Cialatte, he has sent a photo of the antisocial dinning group to all brunch venues in the French Quarter, warning other cafe owners that these individuals will not help uphold the gentrified atmosphere people like him have worked so hard to force into the community.

In the centre of the controversy, the Brunch Six state they have received a lot of support from brunch enthusiasts with the hashtag #istandwiththebrunchsix receiving 110,000 mentions on Twitter from people who also feel pressure to talk about Kanye West at brunch.

The group has since revealed the whole brunch was actually a protest to oppressive (yet unspoken) brunch rules that dictate inner-city semi-professional white people have to spend at least 40% of their brunch discussing Kanye West.

“To be honest, we were wondering if we actually going to be able to do it, but bravery prevailed in the end and we paid the price for it,” stated Brunch Six ringleader Patrick Lowe (26).

“I was tired of pretending to like Kanye while I was eating my poached eggs. I don’t even think I have a favourite Kanye song. What’s the one with the motorbike in the video?”


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