Even though it could be argued that he has had the last laugh after a long battle with the Australian establishment, it has been confirmed that Hollywood actor Johnny Depp is still very much a piece of shit.

Even everyday Australians who don’t like Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce say that they would much prefer to go fishing with the Tamworth politician than the violent baby boomer hipster from America.

This long-winded rivalry between Johnny Depp and Barnaby Joyce comes from May 2015, when the Nationals Leader gave the visiting blockbuster star 24 hours get his two pet dogs out of the country or have them put down – after he brought them into Australia without declaring them to quarantine.

The department said any animal that was imported without meeting Australia’s import conditions would be ordered into quarantine and would either be exported or destroyed.

After complying to the demands, then flying back months later to face court over the biosecurity violations being made to star in a video promoting Australian biosafety precautions as punishment, Mr Depp was quick to get on talkshows and run down both Australia and our Deputy PM for many months after.

“Yep. He’s a cunt” says George, a Betoota local that our editors are drinking with this afternoon.

“Absolute fuckwit”


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