A recent report by the North Queensland Succession Society has found that just about everyone in Townsville has a grandparent from Ingham, which kind of means they are all vaguely Italian.

The honourable Bob Katter III announced the findings during a Facebook live press conference today.

“We’ve always thought this was the case but couldn’t get any data other than the last names on the trustee board at the North Queensland Cowboys leagues club”

Bob says he commissioned the report himself after Katter’s Australian party saw a boost in Italian-Australian voters following the election of Nick Dametto, former owner operater of the iconic jetski rentals company, Townsville Watersports.

The need for an independent study into the Italianess of the Deep North, came as a result of North Queenslanders aren’t being apprehensive about giving their details to the southerners who run the official Federal Census.

“For those who aren’t Indigenous, they are likely mediterranean” said Katter.

“Sometimes, they are both. Like I am, sometimes”

Like many areas with a prominent sugar cane and fruit industry, North Queensland has had an Italian presence for many years now – although most residents are a lot less likely to speak in their nonna’s traditional language, they are still very firey and use their hands a lot when talking.

The report has found that almost 90% of Townsville and the surrounding towns are of Italian heritage, and that if it weren’t for the Italians we wouldn’t have the Cowboys, moit.


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