ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

With cash to burn and a youthful wanderlust coursing through his veins, an ageing Betoota Grove man said ‘fuck it’ softly to himself on a warm night in November and splurged on a premium economy class ticket.

Months of planning came to affront yesterday when Thomas Brown put his passport through the machine at Remineko International Airport; his journey to the UK was underway.

But the ride on the big red kangaroo didn’t go to plan.

The unpopular 69-year-old spoke to The Advocate in Dubai moments ago via mobile telephone and the scene he described chilled our reporter to his bones.

“There I was, enjoying my complimentary glass of bubbles onboarding – and it was real glass, when I was accosted by an economy class passenger,” he said, with venom.

“On the upper deck, they have first, business, us premium folk and then a small section of human filth they jam in near the shitters and galley,”

“One of them tried to get past me and our bodies touch. I could feel his penis brush my leg, it was horrible! I couldn’t stomach the Jansz after that!”

It doesn’t end there.

Thomas said it was about six or seven hours into the journey when he turned around to look about and saw through the dividing curtain, a man looking back at him with a ‘mischievous look’ on his face.

What he described next is especially confronting and readers should be warned about the content.

“He snuffed a big gollie back into his throat and quietly plopped it out of his mouth and onto the carpet. All without breaking eye contact with me!”

“Then the son of a bitch rubbed it into the carpet with his bare foot. Savages!”

Mr Brown then explained his connecting flight to Heathrow was about to board.

More to come.



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